i want to write a sort of magical realism fanfic of colonial canada.

i want matthew to see arthur arrive on horses that look like some terrible creature from mythology that i will look up and they’re breathing smoke (please tell me someone in the native american tribes went the smoke breathing monster route please) and it feels like matthew’s seeing the devil for the first time (he was catholic once right) and basically ok so i need to go read some canadian history fine

ok what i’m trying to say is i want an au where arthur is of the fairy folk and matthew is rightfully scared shitless (like right in his bones, i’m talking primeval fight or flight yo) so when francis is about to hand him over, matthew makes a break for it


 don’t cross him

'cos he pursues his enemies until the last 

headcanon: many times, Alfred plays the loud-mouthed, hyperactive fool. perhaps he’ll even indulge in the stereotype of the ignorant american who can’t find his own country on the map. but don’t let that fool you into thinking he’s nice and harmless-because, at the end of the day, he’s America, the superpower

Oh oh oh, remember that old profile of Alfred where Hima said Alfred pretends not to be able to read the atmosphere? Imagine how uncomfortable everyone else gets when he drops his goofy face to get tough on commies, etc. :)
schwertlilieAsked by schwertlilie


*coughs weakly, ignores extra pumpkin spice latte for a moment—i love you—, and then grabs the collar of your shirt to pull you forward*

No, but like.

Alfred, Arthur, Matthew—all the nations have to live constantly under the reminder that they are not human (and haven’t been allowed to be human) for centuries. They’re human in nearly all their interactions, but once something interferes with their goals as a nation-state, well that shit don’t fly.

Like, I love lovable dork Alfred, but I really like Alfred who likes the face people make when they forget that he’s really a brilliant bastard. You don’t ricochet to hegemon status on good looks and luck alone. Hell, even during the Cold War, I’d still argue that there was a gap between the capabilities between the USSR & the USA. Of course, just having a single nuke can make all things equal but still. He can be really nice and really mean, and he’s a complex creature this Alfred.

Like, switching gears, personally I really like writing Matthew as torn between his status as a nation/state/territory/whatever the hell he was at various points in time and the personal affection/or lack thereof he feels toward Arthur. It’s this weird merging of human and non-human. Technically a state shouldn’t have feelings, and its behavior is dictated by those that control it. Really, all these personifications are really superfluous figureheads. Maybe (and remember this is all my personal head canon) they were once useful, before they become sprawling with their own citizens, before the point where a human was recognized as being a citizen of a place (not a nationality, not an ethnicity, I’m talking about where your passport was printed) but after the 20th century, I’m sure most personifications were working a light government job where they could be on hand to know the deal. I don’t believe for a second Alfred has any say in the actions of his government, but I think he holds a lot of sway, as most nations do. But they’re not running shit, they’re sort of directing/advising, depending on the government’s attitude toward the personification.

So, in the case of Alfred, he genuinely adores Matthew. Hell, he’d take a bullet or two dozen for the guy. But the moment Matthew goes awol, all St. Jerome-style, Alfred takes note. And every single thing Matthew does—-builds a cabin-fort thing, comes into the nearest town monthly, hunts squirrels for stew—another little red flag goes up and Alfred starts making calls to the right people, starts making noises at whoever is Matthew’s keeper at the time, usually Arthur. Because a nation wants stable neighbors (usually I want to say, but lets keep a lot of poli sci and international relations and good old expansion out of this for now) and Alfred wants the right stable neighbors. And if Matthew is out there having friendships with rabbits and nursing birds back to health instead of, you know, doing his goddamn job, then Alfred has a right to be concerned.

His affection only stretches so far, and it didn’t even stretch that far for Arthur. He might take a bullet for Matthew, but there are times when he might just let that bullet go where it has to go.

so you mean we can’t change britain’s name to “Vague-Hand-Gesture-And-Squinty-Eye Britain” now?

A selection of alternate names if Scotland declares independence:


  • Okay Britain
  • Meh Britain
  • Just-Alright Britain
  • I-Went-There-Once-And-It-Was-Nothing-To-Write-Home-About Britain
  • I-Don’t-Know-If-It’s-Worth-Going-Back-To-Be-Honest Britain
  • Vague-Hand-Gesture-And-Squinty-Eye Britain